lostnchina

…because not all of us have our Peking ducks in a row

The Sarcastic Woman’s Guide to Online Dating: Your Profile Picture

With Valentine’s Day approaching, those of us who are single will want to brush up their online dating profiles to attract the most worthy Romeo or Juliet.  (First posted May … Continue reading

February 13, 2015 · 2 Comments

The Sarcastic Woman’s Guide to Online Dating: Your Profile Picture

My Dear Begirdled and Betrodden Sisters, In my last post of the Sarcastic Woman dating series, I touched upon the importance of a thoughtfully-written and highly-fibrous online dating profile that … Continue reading

December 13, 2013 · 30 Comments

The Sarcastic Woman’s Guide to Online Dating: Your Profile

Congratulations!  Like a lobotomized water buffalo in heat, you have decided to charge ass first – because its larger size will cause more damage – into the increasingly flatulent world … Continue reading

May 12, 2013 · 26 Comments

A Lemon Peeler for My Love: A Gift-giving Guide for the Ex in Your Life

If you’ve ever questioned your man’s love for you, just take a look at the presents that you’ve received from him during the course of your relationship.  Perhaps you can … Continue reading

July 24, 2012 · 119 Comments

Dating Susan for Dummies

A friend turned me on to a website that lets you generate your own “Dummies” book cover: https://covers.dummies.com/generate.html.  These are my entries, soon to hit the bookshelves at a gas … Continue reading

May 16, 2012 · 14 Comments

How to Succeed at Landing the Chinese Man of Your Nightmares

I know for a sorry fact that, if my Dad were to pass away tomorrow, his greatest regret would not be that 1000+ item Vegas Strip buffet he never tried, … Continue reading

May 8, 2012 · 36 Comments

I’m Not Your Amway-Hooker, Travel-Sexcort, Chinabride, Mother-May-I, Ex-Girlfriend-Stand-In: A Scientific Analysis of Susan’s Dating History

Some of you may be saddened to learn that I’ve broken up with the guy mentioned in Why I’m Still Sarcastically Single Part One: Steak.  The relationship lasted a bit … Continue reading

April 15, 2012 · 43 Comments

Things My Elderly Chinese Parents Say to Me

For the past two-and-a-half weeks I’ve been living with my elderly parents in Taipei, as I’m recovering from surgery.  Having the surgery in Taiwan, with its universal health care, was … Continue reading

March 30, 2012 · 29 Comments

Gadzooks, I’ve Been Tagged!

MrMary and I have a soul connection: the kind you see when two strangers simultaneously reach for the same discounted vodka in a box on the shelf of the liquor … Continue reading

February 27, 2012 · 13 Comments

The Time I Wrote a Love Letter to Myself

In the ’90s, teaching English in Taiwan was as easy as getting piss-ass drunk on cheap beer and mistaking every stranger in the bar for someone you know.  The Taiwanese … Continue reading

January 31, 2012 · 12 Comments

Super Susan Speed Dating

After ending a lackluster, long-term relationship early last year, I’ve finally managed to shake off the leftover ennui and get back “onto my horse” and re-join the dating world…Even if … Continue reading

January 8, 2012 · 18 Comments

Ode to Alcohol

Just having returned from China, walking into a US liquor store was as close to a religious experience as I was ever going to get: I almost dropped to my … Continue reading

December 27, 2011 · 9 Comments

Why I’m Still Sarcastically Single Part One: Steak

Recently, the guy I’m dating asked me whether I’d ever mention him in my blog.  This got me thinking about dating and why I’m still dating at my age and … Continue reading

November 11, 2011 · 24 Comments