How to Deal With Talkative Passengers While Flying at 32,000 Feet
For those of you who claimed to have built life-changing friendships, been engaged or married, or reached an epiphany about red meat on a red-eye from San Francisco to New York, … Continue reading
Funereality – Part Two
A Buddhist monk, my sneezing sister and I are driving along in a Mercedes with plush leather seats. Something that resembles a dried up stalk of corn is wedged between … Continue reading
Funereality – Part One
When our beloved pet cockatiel of seventeen years died, my dad had witnessed the event. He said that Binky had been acting sluggish for about a week – sitting on … Continue reading
A Very Chinese Home Remodel
You know your elderly Chinese parents have redefined “home remodeling” when they spend the money they have scrimped and saved over the years on a home remodel that features a … Continue reading
See Susan Go Camping
I was raised in a campingless household. My Chinese immigrant parents could never understand how our neighbors – with only $240.38 (Canadian) in their bank account (that was US$1.99 in … Continue reading
Vivian and I are Having a Baby!
Late last year, Vivian, my Accounting Manager and right-hand person in China told me on internet messenger that she was (finally) formally getting married: Me: Congrats! So…you’re pregnant? Vivian: How … Continue reading
Dentally Yours: An Adventure in Chinese Medical Misadventure
Ask anyone who’s traveling to a developing country her number one fear and it’s usually either: a) getting robbed, maimed or killed (after which she would most likely end up … Continue reading
Hells Bell’s Palsy: The Symptoms of a Chinese Mother
Bell’s palsy “is a form of facial paralysis resulting from a dysfunction of the …facial nerve… causing an inability to control facial muscles on the affected side…It is thought that … Continue reading
The Trainer.
Based on events which occurred in a small town in China in 2005 I first saw the Trainer – and I believe that was his name, as that’s what everyone … Continue reading
The Power of Poo & Other Cross-cultural Conundrums
When people find out that I *live* in China, they always want to know what it’s like. And from the way they ask and the expressions on their faces, I … Continue reading
This Post is Kind of Racist
Originally posted on lostnchina:
I’m ashamed to admit this, but my parents – well, my Mother – after having lived in Canada since the 1970s, has a problem differentiating one…
Adventures in Absentmindedness
It is said that goldfish have the worst memory of any living creature in the animal kingdom. I don’t think this conclusion was reached through years of rigorous, double-blind scientific … Continue reading
People’s Republic of WTF?
The other day I realized that, even though this blog is entitled LOSTNCHINA and I frequently blather on about how odd it is to be Chinese-but-not-quite-Chinese-enough in China, I’ve never … Continue reading
How to Succeed at Landing the Chinese Man of Your Nightmares
I know for a sorry fact that, if my Dad were to pass away tomorrow, his greatest regret would not be that 1000+ item Vegas Strip buffet he never tried, … Continue reading
Chinese Chicken Gizzard & Testicle Soup for the Soul: Inspiration for the Uninspirable
You drink this soup I made for you; it will make you stronger and smarter and give you chi. You don’t do what I say, you’ll die a slow and … Continue reading
Three Made-in-China Things That Almost Killed Me
Most of us are aware of the more obvious dangers that living in China might present – crossing the street and getting hit by a car, driving and getting hit … Continue reading
Things My Elderly Chinese Parents Say to Me
For the past two-and-a-half weeks I’ve been living with my elderly parents in Taipei, as I’m recovering from surgery. Having the surgery in Taiwan, with its universal health care, was … Continue reading
Toto, We’re Not in Kansas Anymore: A Foreigner’s Guide on What NOT TO DO While Living in China
This a revised post first written in 2006 It always amazes me how foreigners who have no ties with China, know nothing about China’s people, culture, or language, suddenly uproot … Continue reading
Toilet Tales
When I first came to China, I had enough drugs in my suitcase to put a pharmacy to shame: Extra-strength Tylenol, Sudafed, Sinutab, calcium tablets, multi-vitamins, oregano oil, garlic pills, … Continue reading
A Foreign Idiot’s Guide to Running a Business in China
Some of you may wonder what the hell it is I do in China. I frequently blather on about my Mom’s English, my hatred of Chinese banks, and my bewilderment … Continue reading
For the Caregivers of the English-impaired
When people ask me what languages I know, of course English and Chinese come to mind. French was mandatory till Grade 10, but that doesn’t mean I’d retained any. I … Continue reading
That Chinese Chick Can’t Cook Rice
For my birthday I had a group of friends over to my place for a birthday / leftover X’mas / Chinese New Year hot pot (fondue) dinner. Traditionally in the … Continue reading
The Time I Wrote a Love Letter to Myself
In the ’90s, teaching English in Taiwan was as easy as getting piss-ass drunk on cheap beer and mistaking every stranger in the bar for someone you know. The Taiwanese … Continue reading
More a Tweet Than a Post: Happy Chinese New Year!
A few posts back I promised to display my latest Chinese New Year acquisition – the 2012 edition of the Chinese New Year red panty, which my mother sent me … Continue reading
Lies My Superstitious Chinese Mother Told Me & the Longevity Panty
I’m the first-born byproduct of old-world Chinese parents. My Father is nearly twice my age and my Mother is irrational, but has very nice skin. My Mother, like many Chinese … Continue reading
Driving Miss Crazy
Unlike Jessica Tandy in “Driving Miss Daisy”, I just can’t get used to the idea of having my own Driver in China. I KNOW that in China, as in many … Continue reading
My Favorite Chinese Stereotype: The Chinese Lotus Blossom vs. The Dragon Lady
How many times have you driven behind an erratic driver and thought, “Man, that driver’s got to be Chinese. He/she drives horribly!” – only to feel so guilty immediately afterwards, … Continue reading
Why I’m Still Sarcastically Single Part One: Steak
Recently, the guy I’m dating asked me whether I’d ever mention him in my blog. This got me thinking about dating and why I’m still dating at my age and … Continue reading
Dentally Yours: An Adventure in Chinese Medical Misadventure
Ask anybody who is traveling to a developing country his or her number one fear and it’s usually either: a) getting robbed, maimed or killed (after which he/she would most … Continue reading
Drink, Drank, Drunk in China, A Woman’s Perspective
Remember a young and fresh-faced Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood in “Raiders of the Lost Ark”, winning a drink-off with some large, boorish guy at the beginning of the movie, … Continue reading
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