Mongolian Barbequed: Four Days & Three Nights in Mongolia with a Chinese Tour Group
It was with near-hysterical fervor that my employees and I had signed up for a four-day guided tour of Inner Mongolia leaving on May 1 – China’s Labor Day – one … Continue reading
Vivian and I are Having a Baby!
Late last year, Vivian, my Accounting Manager and right-hand person in China told me on internet messenger that she was (finally) formally getting married: Me: Congrats! So…you’re pregnant? Vivian: How … Continue reading
The Overly Self-Indulgent, Absolutely Optional Non-Anniversary Anniversary Search Term Post
As my blog painfully drags its increasingly bulky ass into its third year – September 2013 – I’m humbled by the number of kind people who faithfully read my posts, … Continue reading
Of Banks & Sex – Banking in 21st Century China
Written in April 2006, before the happy advent of internet banking After two years of living in China, I’ve finally made my first wire transfer at a bank without help from … Continue reading
The Trainer.
Based on events which occurred in a small town in China in 2005 I first saw the Trainer – and I believe that was his name, as that’s what everyone … Continue reading
People’s Republic of WTF?
The other day I realized that, even though this blog is entitled LOSTNCHINA and I frequently blather on about how odd it is to be Chinese-but-not-quite-Chinese-enough in China, I’ve never … Continue reading
How to Succeed at Landing the Chinese Man of Your Nightmares
I know for a sorry fact that, if my Dad were to pass away tomorrow, his greatest regret would not be that 1000+ item Vegas Strip buffet he never tried, … Continue reading
So You Wanna Own a Piece of China, eh?
I sometimes tell people that, if I hadn’t gotten an MBA, I would’ve gone into home construction and repair instead. A PhD in Plumbing, an Associates Certificate in Dry-Wallcology, or … Continue reading
Three Made-in-China Things That Almost Killed Me
Most of us are aware of the more obvious dangers that living in China might present – crossing the street and getting hit by a car, driving and getting hit … Continue reading
The Foreign Customer is Always (Never) Right
As a contributor to your esteemed country’s trade deficit with China, we Chinese suppliers are often given many unflattering labels – opportunistic, unethical, and misleading. We are accused of seducing … Continue reading
Toilet Tales
When I first came to China, I had enough drugs in my suitcase to put a pharmacy to shame: Extra-strength Tylenol, Sudafed, Sinutab, calcium tablets, multi-vitamins, oregano oil, garlic pills, … Continue reading
A Foreign Idiot’s Guide to Running a Business in China
Some of you may wonder what the hell it is I do in China. I frequently blather on about my Mom’s English, my hatred of Chinese banks, and my bewilderment … Continue reading
For the Caregivers of the English-impaired
When people ask me what languages I know, of course English and Chinese come to mind. French was mandatory till Grade 10, but that doesn’t mean I’d retained any. I … Continue reading
That Chinese Chick Can’t Cook Rice
For my birthday I had a group of friends over to my place for a birthday / leftover X’mas / Chinese New Year hot pot (fondue) dinner. Traditionally in the … Continue reading
The Time I Wrote a Love Letter to Myself
In the ’90s, teaching English in Taiwan was as easy as getting piss-ass drunk on cheap beer and mistaking every stranger in the bar for someone you know. The Taiwanese … Continue reading
“Help!” (Wanted): The Story of Boogie Wang, Chloe Chu, Pinky Lo & One Kinky Ho
In Hong Kong, recruiting an English-speaking Account Representative is easier than in China, as English is one of the two official languages. The issue I have is with the names … Continue reading
Ode to Alcohol
Just having returned from China, walking into a US liquor store was as close to a religious experience as I was ever going to get: I almost dropped to my … Continue reading
Driving Miss Crazy
Unlike Jessica Tandy in “Driving Miss Daisy”, I just can’t get used to the idea of having my own Driver in China. I KNOW that in China, as in many … Continue reading
Teaching My Elderly Chinese Parents the Computer
The other day, my younger sister, Annie, lamented to me over instant messenger, “Mom forwarded me some weird email from one of her Chinese friends about eating all my vegetables … Continue reading
My Favorite Chinese Stereotype: The Chinese Lotus Blossom vs. The Dragon Lady
How many times have you driven behind an erratic driver and thought, “Man, that driver’s got to be Chinese. He/she drives horribly!” – only to feel so guilty immediately afterwards, … Continue reading
Why I’m Still Sarcastically Single Part One: Steak
Recently, the guy I’m dating asked me whether I’d ever mention him in my blog. This got me thinking about dating and why I’m still dating at my age and … Continue reading
Dentally Yours: An Adventure in Chinese Medical Misadventure
Ask anybody who is traveling to a developing country his or her number one fear and it’s usually either: a) getting robbed, maimed or killed (after which he/she would most … Continue reading
Supremely Bizarre Products of All Time
Most people who are reading this blog about China might want to see weird and funny things – like pictures of misspelled street signs, strange foods, or bizarre cultural rituals. … Continue reading
This Post is Kind of Racist
I’m ashamed to admit this, but my parents – well, my Mother – after having lived in Canada since the 1970s, has a problem differentiating one Caucasian from the next. … Continue reading
Drink, Drank, Drunk in China, A Woman’s Perspective
Remember a young and fresh-faced Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood in “Raiders of the Lost Ark”, winning a drink-off with some large, boorish guy at the beginning of the movie, … Continue reading
Too Fat for China: Confessions of a Size 4 Chinese-Canadian in China
As I’ve said in a previous post, it’s a well-known fact and an utter phenomenon that Chinese women can eat twice their weight in food and never gain an ounce, … Continue reading
My Ten-point Safety Plan for Surviving in China
I might come off as China-savvy and sassy in my posts, but the fact that I’m not maimed or laying in a pile of water buffalo turd in a place … Continue reading
Lost in Translation – Why I’m Not an Interpreter
My Mother often asks me why I don’t step up and help foreigners translate, as they stammer and gulp their way through the simplest things, like asking where the bathroom … Continue reading
The Tao of Haggling – From Someone Who Hates to Bargain
Sometimes I think i should not have been born Chinese: My ability-to-haggle-gene must have been destroyed when I integrated into Western society… along with my propensity to carry large wads … Continue reading
Of Banks and Sex – Banking in 21st Century China
Written in April 2006, before the happy advent of internet banking After two years of living in China, I’ve finally made my first wire transfer at a bank without help from … Continue reading
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