When people ask me what languages I know, of course English and Chinese come to mind. French was mandatory till Grade 10, but that doesn’t mean I’d retained any. I also studied German on the pretense that I wanted to get a degree in Comparative English/Chinese/German literature. Actually, I just liked the way German sounded,… [Read more…]
February 10, 2012
For my birthday I had a group of friends over to my place for a birthday / leftover X’mas / Chinese New Year hot pot (fondue) dinner. Traditionally in the Chinese culture, the birthday girl is supposed to treat all her friends and not the other way around. I’m supposed to have an elaborate spread,… [Read more…]
February 6, 2012
In the midst of my Sudafed-induced stupor, I notice these hits to my blog via Kitchen Slattern‘s site. And since I worship the woman to the point where it’s freaking her out and driving her to drink – yeah, if you only knew – I thought I’d take a look. As it turned out, I’d… [Read more…]
January 31, 2012
In the ’90s, teaching English in Taiwan was as easy as getting piss-ass drunk on cheap beer and mistaking every stranger in the bar for someone you know. The Taiwanese didn’t travel abroad as frequently as they do now, and fewer native English speakers were teaching in Taiwan. But parents still sent their kids to… [Read more…]
January 25, 2012
A few posts back I promised to display my latest Chinese New Year acquisition – the 2012 edition of the Chinese New Year red panty, which my mother sent me via express mail last week. The candy cane is placed strategically next to the panty to show you what proportions we’re talking about here. This… [Read more…]
January 17, 2012
In Hong Kong, recruiting an English-speaking Account Representative is easier than in China, as English is one of the two official languages. The issue I have is with the names that the Hong Kong population, particularly young women, have given themselves. We had ten short-listed resumes. Four of the resumes had the names of “Queenie”… [Read more…]
January 13, 2012
As I turned on my computer the other day, I noticed this comment from blogger, Sharon, of Hyperactive Inefficiency: Heyo, I’ve finally updated that Versatile Blogger Award post, and yes, you are one of my favourite 15 blogs out of the trillion or whatever on WordPress. Thank you for being interesting. Unaccustomed to receiving unsolicited… [Read more…]
January 8, 2012
After ending a lackluster, long-term relationship early last year, I’ve finally managed to shake off the leftover ennui and get back “onto my horse” and re-join the dating world…Even if that horse usually turns out to be a pack mule with a limp, a circus-performing orangutan, or a kid’s beat-up wagon with a squeaky wheel… [Read more…]
December 31, 2011
I’m the first-born byproduct of old-world Chinese parents. My Father is nearly twice my age and my Mother is irrational, but has very nice skin. My Mother, like many Chinese women her generation, fears death the way that some people would fear stepping into a pile of dog shit while frantically running after their rabid,… [Read more…]
December 27, 2011
Just having returned from China, walking into a US liquor store was as close to a religious experience as I was ever going to get: I almost dropped to my proverbial popping knees and wept. It was so beautiful seeing all the shiny bottles of alcohol lined up neatly according to product category. The recovering… [Read more…]
December 17, 2011
As I was penning my next sarcastic, self-absorbed post, my sister gave me a link to something that I’ve been spending wayyy too much time on. Most of the photos here are regular family pictures that have gone viral and can be found at awkwardfamilyphotos.com. But given that it’s the holiday season – the time… [Read more…]
December 13, 2011
Unlike Jessica Tandy in “Driving Miss Daisy”, I just can’t get used to the idea of having my own Driver in China. I KNOW that in China, as in many other places in the world, owning a car or having a personal Driver is a status symbol for anybody who wants to be a somebody. … [Read more…]
December 3, 2011
The other day, my younger sister, Annie, lamented to me over instant messenger, “Mom forwarded me some weird email from one of her Chinese friends about eating all my vegetables so I won’t go blind! And then another one with fluffy bunny pictures! I don’t get it, how did she get this email address? I… [Read more…]
November 28, 2011
How many times have you driven behind an erratic driver and thought, “Man, that driver’s got to be Chinese. He/she drives horribly!” – only to feel so guilty immediately afterwards, that you go to the nearest Panda Express and try to obtain absolution from your sinful racist thoughts by inhaling a heaping mess of General… [Read more…]
November 11, 2011
Recently, the guy I’m dating asked me whether I’d ever mention him in my blog. This got me thinking about dating and why I’m still dating at my age and why this man would choose to date me over a woman with bigger breasts and a smaller waist. If you’re like me, you probably get… [Read more…]
November 4, 2011
I know most people who are reading this blog about China might want to see weird and funny things – like pictures of misspelled street signs, strange foods, or bizarre cultural rituals. But being Chinese and having lived in China for a while, I’ve become desensitized to most of the things around me. Besides, the… [Read more…]
October 27, 2011
I’m ashamed to admit this, but my parents – well, my Mother – after having lived in Canada since the 1970s, has a problem differentiating one Caucasian from the next. Take, for example, this elderly couple, who were our neighbors in Vancouver (that’s B.C., Canada) from the early 1980s till my parents sold their house… [Read more…]
October 25, 2011
Remember a young and fresh-faced Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood in “Raiders of the Lost Ark”, winning a drink-off with some large, boorish guy at the beginning of the movie, only to punch Indiana Jones in the jaw about 20 minutes afterwards? At the time, I thought no greater role model for women existed…Marion was… [Read more…]
October 18, 2011
As I’ve said in a previous post, it’s a well-known fact and an utter phenomenon that Chinese women can eat twice their weight in food and never gain an ounce, while a woman who has grown up in “the West” will gain weight, if she stares too long at an ad for Tiramisu. Anyone who… [Read more…]
September 26, 2011
We don’t hear a lot about Scotland in China, Hong Kong or Taiwan. I’m sure most people think the same I do when anyone mentions Scotland – tartan, bagpipes, kilts, woolen apparel. But the other day, while visiting my parents in Taipei, I went to a Costco with them and forced them to purchase a… [Read more…]
September 19, 2011
I might come off as China-savvy and sassy in my posts, but the fact that I’m not maimed or laying in a pile of water buffalo turd in a place where there’s no 3G connection is due more to dumb luck than any thoughtful planning on my part. Actually, I’ve had my share of high-risk… [Read more…]
September 15, 2011
This post has been combined with an original post entitled, “Where do I shop? Is the customer ever right?” dated 2005 ******************************** ul·cer Noun /ˈəlsər/ 1. An open sore on an external or internal surface of the body, caused by a break in the skin or mucous membrane that fails to heal. 2. A moral… [Read more…]
September 2, 2011
My Mother often asks me why I don’t step up and help foreigners translate, as they stammer and gulp their way through the simplest things, like asking where the bathroom is, how to get to the bus station, what happened to their cell phone, which was on the table in front of them at the… [Read more…]
February 1, 2007
Sometimes i think i should not have been born Chinese: My ability-to-haggle-gene must have been destroyed when I integrated into Western society… along with my propensity to carry large wads of cash and ability to eat chicken claws. I believe it’s impolite and self-defeating to haggle in certain situations, such as when you’re on a… [Read more…]
April 2, 2006
after two years of living in china, i’ve finally made my first wire transfer at a bank without help from ANYONE. THIS is a day to remember! THIS is a day that’s right up there with the day i took my first baby steps, the day that i got behind the steering wheel of my first car – my father’s… [Read more…]
February 21, 2012
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